Month: April 2015

cobwebs, dust and the occasional milkshake

I’ve had this story kicking around in my mindchamber for about two years now. And it’s the best kind of story to be constantly thinking about because it’s all plot; there’s nary a theme or character arc within fifteen miles of the logline and poster that’s been burned inside my goddamn head since that one fateful afternoon I smoked too much pot and got a little too confident with the pen, crafting the outline for an intricately layered genre film while unabashedly borrowing pieces of works that I greatly admired* and others that presented interesting yet ultimately under-cooked ideas**. I threw it all into my usual mirepoix of dialogue-heavy black comedy and inactive protagonists, hoping for a ragged commentary on reality television and our fame-seeking culture. But hello darkness, my old friend: doubt surfaced and I began to fear and still fear I am not clever enough to write this shepherd’s pie of social commentary. It’s maddening because it’s like I have a bunch of nails and nothing to slam them into the wall with.

Plot without theme and you’re just running around looking for the fucking Wizard because you want to hang out. The Lion doesn’t get his courage and Dorthy doesn’t go home.

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Here’s a blog inspired by the trailer for the new Entourage movie that I did not watch because fuck Entourage

We seem to be out of ideas.

For every thoughtful sequel or adaptation*, we get four or five half-baked piles of thinly-veiled shit meant to sell toys or Billy Corgan albums**.   The recent news of a revival of both The X-Files (good) and Coach (bad) comes on the heels of a Boy Meets World spin-off*** and rumors that Netflix is looking at doing something similar with Full House****.

I’ve touched on this topic before, but in the spirit of originality, here are three pitches for sequels to televisions shows that were never really that great or popular to begin with:

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